Elise has been sleeping with me (and poor Travis has been relegated to the guest room) since mid-November. It all started innocently enough; she had a rough night and I let her come in with me. Since then, any attempt to put her in her own bed has resulted in much screaming and gnashing of teeth. We tried the crib, a toddler bed, a regular bed, baths, books, rocking, treats, gushing, and so on. All she wanted was “mommy’s bed.” And neither of us had the patience to do much about it. 

  

We did try the “Nanny 911″ method over the holidays, where you sit close the child in their room. Every time they get up, you put them back in bed without engaging them. We did this for four nights. Each night, it took between 3 and 4 hours to get her to sleep, and she’d wake up every 45 min and scream for another 45 min. After 4 nights, we gave up. We were getting even less sleep than before, which seemed pointless.   

   

Until recently, we were just going with it. But then we decided enough was enough. I am warning you, this is going to be a long post, so either grab a cup of coffee or just quit reading here.   

We were at the ped for Beck’s 9-mo check up and I spoke to him about her issues. He told me what I knew he was going to tell me – that the best thing we can do is teach her how to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. It’s not cruel or abandonment.   

He said to do the bedtime routine and then put a gate up at the door (he feels closing the door is a bit too confining/separating them from the outside world) and then tell her I love her and will see her in the morning.   

She may cry for 8 hours. She may puke. She may do this for 2 weeks. But she will eventually learn.   

It made me soooooo sad to think about doing this, but nothing else had worked and we’d not making any improvement, so I knew it had to be done. As the ped said, I wouldn’t give her candy for dinner just because she cries, so why is this any different?   

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Night 1  

    

I converted Elise’s crib back into a toddler bed (for the second time) as she watched me and we talked about sleeping in her bed. I hoped it would help that Mommy was doing it and she was helping. We also totally child-proofed her room.  

   

Did the bedtime routine (brush teeth, jammies, stories, rocking) and then she started getting teary-eyed. She laid down in bed and started bawling. T and I kissed her, told her we’d see her in the morning, and stepped over the gate into the hall. She was right behind us as the gate, wailing, with her dolly in hand.  

We were just about to the end of the hall when I turned around and saw her fling herself over the gate, never once letting dolly hit the ground or get hurt.   

 That was the end of the gate and into our bed she went.  

  

  

 

  

 Night 2   

  

I was going to buy a second gate to stack on top of the other one, until a wise coworker pointed out that she’ll just fall from higher up if I do that. She’s definitely a climber.  

So I guess our only option is to close the door.  

We started talking about sleeping in her own bed about 30 min before bed, and it did not go well. She was crying and screaming the whole time.  

But we did the bedtime routine, and I rocked her. She wouldn’t lay down at all, so T and I kissed her and walked out of the room. I had to literally pry her fingers off the door to close it.  

She then started wailing like she was being beat and THROWING her entire body at the door. OMG. I was almost in tears. She kept screaming mommy and bodyslamming the door. She immediately got the child proof doorknob off, but couldn’t get the door open, thank goodness for antique-y doorknobs that are a bit difficult to open.  

For 3 min, she screamed like she was dying.  

Then she crawled into her bed and silence followed. We knew it was too good to be true.  

About 10 min later, she started softly crying and just repeating mommy over and over again intermixed with times of silence. This went on until about an hour after she went to bed.  

She then slept THROUGH THE NIGHT. You don’t understand – this is the child who wakes 5 and 6 times a night when she sleeps with me.  

I woke her up at 8:45 am this morning and she cried for about 10 sec. Then started telling me how her baby slept in the bed with her and not on the floor. And on and on and on and on.  

We’ve done tons and tons of praise and excitement over sleeping in her big girl bed. We’re going to the store later and she gets to pick out a new toy. She’s excited and hasn’t argued back that she’s going to sleep in “mommy’s bed” which is her usual MO.  

  

  

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Night 3   

   

Once again, she started crying before we even headed upstairs, but she did stop while brushing her teeth and rocking. Then she laid in her bed, somewhat unwillingly, but she did it anyhow. I gave her a kiss and told her I’d see her in the AM.  

Closed the door and she was crying, but she never even got up. She cried for about 1-2 min. T did say she cried a bit more when I was in the kitchen making popcorn, but it wasn’t too loud, as I couldn’t hear it.  

She slept through the night and was happy as could be to see T when he got her at 9 am this morning (she was still kinda sleeping).  

Then it was super cute – she got into bed with me and kept kissing me on the lips and saying “Awt (love) you, too, Mommy”.  My little sweetie.   

  

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Night 4   

Night 4 wasn’t as smooth. She was crying off and on before we even went upstairs. Then she cried while brushing her teeth. HAHA – that was funny. We rocked for a while and then she resisted going to bed, but I got her in. She kept telling me, “No Elise like it Elise’s bed. Elise like Mommy’s bed.”  

Then the little stinker decides to climb over the SIDE of her crib. WTF? I was watching on the video, so I ran upstairs and stubbed my toe on a stupid laundry basket I stupidly left in the hall. She was perched on the side rail, which is about 4′ in the air, with one leg on either side. I was expecting her to fall at any moment.  

I got her down, and we rocked a bit more. Then I put her back in and went in my room next door and watched her on the video. She kept climbing over the side. Seriously? It’s a toddler bed, so she can get out the front no problem. Why does she have to go over the side? But she got down just fine. Then she climbed back in the bed over the side from the outside! I told you, this girl is a monkey! For the love of all that is good, why does she do this? She was giving me a heart attack. But after she did it back and forth about 20 times, I realized she probably wasn’t going to get hurt.  

She cried for about 30 min total, but finally went to sleep and slept through the night.  

And she was so proud of herself when she got up this morning – “Yeah, Elise waked up! Yeah, Elise!”   

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By the time I got downstairs, she’d stopped crying and was in her bed. Asleep.  

And the victory goes to the PARENTS!

  

  

  

 

Dear Beckett,

How can another month have passed so quickly? You are barrelling towards your first birthday, whether I like it or not. And barrelling isn’t even a joke – you are kind of shaped like a barrel. A 25 lb barrel who’s only about 28″ tall. That has to mean that you are nearly as wide around as you are tall. Or something like that.

You are still only sporting one tooth. It’s really a good look. I mean it – you have the most adorable smile with that lonely little tooth peeking out from your bottom gums. I absolutely love a gummy smile, so I’m in no hurry for you to break any other teeth through, although there are several that are threatening to come through any day now.

Your biggest milestone this month has got to be that you finally mastered crawling. No more rolling, scootching on your butt, or dragging yourself soldier style across the floor. No buddy – you get up on all four and start motoring right along. So much for parenting alone – both kids are now mobile, meaning life just got a little more difficult, as if that was really possible. Or necessary.

I can’t really point fingers at you for the difficulty factor, though. You continue to be such a sweet-natured, even-tempered child. You do get upset when Elise pushes you over (I would, too!), and you do get a touch cranky if you are tired and/or hungry (I do, too!), but other than that, you spend 95% of the day laughing and smiling. It’s such a delight!

One of the things that makes your smile as big as it can get is Steve from “Blue’s Clues.” Why? Why oh why? First Elise subjected us to Barney, and now you love Steve. You especially love when he comes closer and closer to the camera, and you instinctively lean towards the tv, waiting to hear what he has to say. With the biggest grin on your face. I’m not sure what this says about you, but I am not so sure it’s a good thing. Kiddo, that guy is kinda goofy.

Everyone who meets you is not only smitten by your sweet soul, but they are also impressed by how studious you are. Your attention span is quite incredible for a 9-month old, and you love to inspect new things by turning them over and over again in your chubby little hands. You’ll watch a show for 20 min, and I swear, it really seems like you know exactly what’s going on. I’m putting down $20 that you end up an engineer like Grandpa Bob and Uncle Ben.

We’ve had lots of changes in our lives the last few months, and some more are hopefully headed our way. One of the big changes is that your dad has reconnected with his dad.  Your dad looks exactly like his dad, and based on how much they look alike, I don’t think you are escaping those genes! Most importantly, though, I am thrilled that you will get to know this side of your family, especially since having more family to love and dote on you is a good thing.

Speaking of loving and doting on, I love you more and more every day. Your laugh and smile make my heart burst with joy every day, and I am so blessed to be your mom. I love you, Mommy

Dear Beckett,

My sweet boy – you are eight months old. Eight. As in 2/3 of a year. I want to laugh and cry when I think about how fast you are growing up. Laugh because two young kids is no walk in the park. But cry because you are my last baby, and even though the going gets tough sometimes, I want to savor it until I’m ready for you to grow up. But it seems you are going to keep on getting older whether I like it or not. I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last time you do something whether I like it or not. Indeed, ask Grandma Jo and Grandpa Bob about my tattoos.

So, what happened this month? You learned how to pull to a stand on your own. And you can stand unassisted for indefinite amounts of time. Or until Elise knocks you over. Or you decide that you can stand without holding onto anything and go crashing to the ground. This happened repeatedly a few weeks ago, and your face was a roadmap of bumps, scratches, and bruises. I promise, it hurt your father and I much more than it hurt you!

 

You also popped your first tooth through! You’ve got a few more threatening to come through any day, and while it bothered you a bit, you were a pretty good sport throughout the whole thing. This has led to you tolerating different foods a bit more, but you still tend to prefer a bottle. I don’t know why – the smell of that stuff is gagerrific! Speaking of, you have a heck of a gag reflex, kiddo. Something hits you wrong or a toy gets a little too far towards the back of your throat, and you are launching your stomach contents out with hurdling speed. It’s not amusing. At all. I won’t be sad when that part of you is grown up. I promise.

 

You really are such a happy baby. I know I say it every month, but you laugh and smile and babble constantly. Your smile practically takes over your entire face, and your eyes dance with joy. I’m convinced you are going to do great things with that smile.

 

Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for being so happy. Thank you for being so cuddly (did I mention how scrumptious your chubby thighs are?) And thank you for being my son. I love you, Mommy

Dear Elise,

 Happy Birthday! My sweet baby girl is TWO! I can hardly even call you a baby anymore. But I will continue to do so, because you are, you are my sweet baby girl.

Since I last wrote to you, your language has truly exploded. I sat down about 6 weeks ago and counted 200+ words that you know. Since then, it’s probably doubled. You are consistently using 3-5 word sentences, which amazes me. Your first 4 word sentence was “No Beckett go bye-bye” when you and I were taking a “Mommy & Elise” trip to the YMCA. Your first 3 word sentence was “Mommy eat eggs” when you were pretending to make eggs for me. It’s not until you become a parent that the most simple things become the biggest and most important moments in your life, and I will always think of “Mommy eat eggs” when I think of the defining moments in my life.

You are a little monkey – you love to hang and swing on anything you can, including the bathroom sink. You climb up the outsides of the stairs, which freaks me out. You have about mastered somersaults, and  you think jumping off things is the coolest. We’re enrolling you in gymnastics starting in January. Between your monkeyness and shortness, this may be our best shot at retiring young!

Bedtime continues to be interesting with you. You continue to insist to sleep naked (except for your diaper.) Sometimes you want to sleep with your kitty blanket, sometimes with your Yo Gabba Gabba blanket, sometimes with your knit blanket. It’s a great guessing game. What’s a given, though, is that you want to sleep with the lights on. Why? Even at nap time, so it’s not that you are afraid of the dark. Whatever – as long as you are willing to go to sleep without a fight, we’re willing to run up our electric bill. Priorities.

One of the funniest things you’ve picked up on from me is “Five minutes.” I have tried to give you time warnings from a young age so that you know what’s coming. I’ll say, “It’s night-night time in five minutes.” or “Five more minutes in the bath” or whatever. And now when you want to keep doing something, you look us straight in the eye, hold up your five little dimpled fingers, and very sincerely say, “Five minutes.” That’s hard to say no to!

We’ve been pottytraining since about 23 months. It’s going pretty well – you wake up dry most mornings and rarely use a diaper throughout the day. And since you get treats for using the potty, you will sit on it every five minutes to get more treats. We quickly realized you were abusing the system and had to put a stop to it. Do your business? Get a treat. No business? No treat. You just love your treats – most people call them M&M’s. You call them lemmers. The only step left is figuring out how to get you to go #2 in the potty. Since your dad is home with you daily, I’ll leave that up to him!

You still love your brother. You share your toys with him and play with him. I love watching you try to teach him how to do something. You grab his little hand and make it push the buttons, slide the slides, and so on. However, sometimes I think you think he is a toy, as when you are finished playing with him, you toss him aside like a cast-off toy. He’s going to be bigger than you soon, so I’d watch that!

 The things you can do now amaze me. You can do an alphabet puzzle (with 26 pieces!) all by yourself, you can count to 10, you know several letters, you sing tons of songs, and you even know a few colors. It’s amazing as a mother to watch your child learn things. It’s one of the most rewarding parts of motherhood, to watch your child grasp a concept, accomplish something by themselves, learn something new. I have no doubt that being your mother is going to continue to be very rewarding as you blow us away with your intelligence.

These last two years have been nothing short of amazing. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, but the one consistent has been the joy you’ve brought us. Oh, the whining and crying has been consistent as well - how could I forget? But truly, my little peanut, you are such a precious child, full of love and joy who makes people smile with her fiery, spunky personality. My greatest hope for you is that you always retain that fieriness, as it makes you who you are. I just love it! And I love you, Mommy

Dear Beckett,

My little man seems so grown up! You know why? You are sitting on your own. You went from pretty wobbily to darn steady overnight. The only time you fall over now is when Elise pushes you over. Fortunately, you find it amusing, even though I do not. I’m just waiting for the day when you push her back. I’m already reserving my ring-side seat. 

You were baptized earlier this month, and it went perfectly. You didn’t even make a peep when the priest poured water on your head. You even slept through most of mass. Such a little angel!

You had your 6 month check up a bit late, as it was really closer to 7 months. Late or not, you have chunked up. You are already over 20 lbs! That puts you in the 80th percentile for weight. And you aren’t slacking in the height department either – you’re 27.5″ (70th percentile). If you recall, your sister is on the smaller side for her age, so remember that ring-side seat I reserved? I think I’m gonna need it sooner than later. 

So, back to milestones. It’s been quite the month for you. In addition to mastering sitting up on your own, you are also consistently rolling both ways, standing while hanging onto something for minutes at a time, and the best one? You are sleeping in your crib! WOOHOO! No more batteries! The swing died one night, and your dad and I decided that meant it was time to transition to your crib. It was so simple. You went right along with it with only the slightest of peeps.

Which leads me right into my next thought. You are such a mellow baby. Granted, you ‘talk’ a lot, and you can whine with the best of them. But in general, you are so laid-back and easy going. You are perfectly happy to stuff something in your mouth, sit on someone’s (anyone’s!) lap, and watch the action. However, I don’t think this means you aren’t going to get in the middle of the action, as you have perfected the art of scooting across the floor on your butt to get to whatever your sister is playing with. Once you are crawling (which you are trying really hard to do), Elise might not think you are so much fun, but for the moment, she loves to play with you. And you love her as well. 

The other night, she was showing you how to use her little kiddie laptop. She kept taking your hand and helping you push the buttons, and you were both just giggling away. I can think of nothing better than listening to my children laugh and learn together, as they figure out the world together. I absolutely adore those moments.

And I adore you. You have brought such joy and happiness to our lives. Your smile is so huge and contagious – it’s impossible to not smile right along with you. Keep on smiling, my dear son, and I will smile right along with you. I love you, Mommy

I’m more than a month late with this, but here are a few pictures of Beckett’s baptism from October 25, 2009. He did so well – no crying at all! In fact, he fell asleep during Mass. Elise, on the other hand, kept clapping and saying “YEAH” every time we stopped singing. Fortunately, Father Sean has a good sense of humor and found it quite amusing. So did the rest of the church.

With his Godmother, Aunt Julie

With Grandma Jo

With Mom, Dad, Elise, and Godparents – Aunt Julie and Uncle Kyle

And with our families

Tidbit #1: We aren’t bathe every night people with the kids – more like 1-2x/week. Tonight was bath night. After all the work of wrangling two kids in and out of a bath, we try to keep them clean for at least 5 min. You know, we’re fancy like that.

Tidbit #2: The babysitter teaches the kids to hug by leaning in towards one another and saying “awwww” to avoid wrestling and other things that go wrong when kids hug. So that’s often how Elise hugs – leans her head in as she “awwwwws.”

After her bath, she needed to use her potty. Thirty successful seconds later, we did a dance and lots of high fives. She gave Beckett a high five, Daddy one, and me.

Then she bent over to hug her potty. I’m not exactly sure why the potty got a hug and we only got high-fives.

I watched in her horror as her clean hair fell right in the potty.

My horror continued as she stood up, and her urine-soaked hair slapped across the side of her face and into her mouth.

Parenthood is so glamorous.

Elise loves to sing…and Beckett seems to like it, too!

Note to Elise: Sleep in your own bed!

Two little elbows and two little knees in my back all night has me craving a nap. Big time. 

What nearly two-year old tells people “NO” when they try to give her candy? Oh, that’s right – MINE! Seriously, she was such a Halloween Grinch; she didn’t want to walk, she didn’t want anyone to give her candy, she really ruined all our fun! At least she looked cute. Beckett, on the other hand, was a perfect angel.